I hope that by sharing my birth story, others can read it and gain some insight from the experience of another mum. My story may help others gain confidence, or learn of some of the scenarios they also may face. While I was pregnant, I was obsessed with hearing as many birth stories from other women as possible. It helped me learn about the birthing process, what to expect at the birth centre and hospital, and to realise just how many possible outcomes there can be. There is no one way to labour, and there is no labour that will be the same. There is no right way, wrong way, good way, or better way. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I loved writing it!
Each birth story is unique, and equally as beautiful x
Joanna Zervas, Balanced Posture Online
My due date was Sunday, May 30th, and I was pretty set on not having a June baby. My family has a lot of birthdays, an anniversary, and Father’s Day in June so I was hoping my baby’s birthday would be in May. We did not know the sex of our baby, waiting to be surprised on the day.
And Labor Begins…
On Saturday, May 29th, around 1-2 pm, I was walking the coast with my partner and the dog when I had a few recurring cramps – we walked our usual route of about 4km and I knew something felt different. I knew it was labour…and so many of you predicted I’d go into labour on one of my walks!
When we got home, I lied in bed watching Netflix… the cramps continued and started to become more “noticeable” around 4:30pm. I was uncomfortable enough that I couldn’t quite fall asleep.
Earlier that day I was set on making a chicken risotto in the thermomix as I’ve been meaning to try it for ages. So of course I decided to proceed with my plan, because when would be a better time to make chicken risotto?! My partner was also set on taking the dog for a walk to get fish and chips. I think we were both in denial and trying to avoid the situation! The weather was dark and gloomy, with rain and thunderstorms in the forecast for the evening.
I remember my partner taking the biggest umbrella with him on their walk, and me thinking “is he doing a runner?!”
By 5:30-6pm labour was progressing, I was getting more uncomfortable. Contractions were slowly starting to build and we made sure all our bags were packed and ready by the door. I didn’t eat any dinner, and the smell of the risotto was making me ill. I couldn’t stomach eating anything, even though I was hungry and hadn’t eaten since 12pm.
Labour positions at home
Around 6pm I went into the bathtub with some candles to relax and ease the discomfort. This felt great for maybe 30-45minutes. The cat even came in and sat beside me on the bathtub edge for a while (he is never this affectionate with me, especially near water!). I told my partner I was fine, and that I’d call out if I needed him. He was happy to stay nearby, watching the footy in the next room. When I needed to get out, he came to help me. As soon as I stood up and got out, I went straight to the bathroom sink and spewed my guts out. My partner looked a bit horrified but I told him spewing was very common in labour and not to be alarmed, I was fine.
I think this is when I finalised realised “shit’s getting real… I’m actually in labour!”
I proceeded to labour at home for a few more hours. I was most comfortable in our bedroom, with my peanut ball on the bed and me kneeling in front of it. With contractions, I’d stand up with my arms reaching over the ball, and stick my hips back while bending my knees. Pushing my arms downward into the ball felt good, I think it release some pressure in my back.
Around 9-10pm I did a kneeling position in front of the couch, and we put the TENS machine on my lower back. This felt okay, but not as good as I had hoped. I was getting uncomfortable and pretty sure we should be heading to the birth centre pretty soon. The rest of our home labour is a blur. All I remember is that my contractions were 30-60seconds long, anywhere from 5-6min apart, or 2-3 min apart, with no real pattern. We had been advised to wait until we had 3 contractions within a 10-min period, lasting about 1 minute each, and for a steady 2 Hours. Mine were so sporatic, but not that far apart, so we just weren’t sure what to do. I knew I wanted to get going to the birth centre though.
My biggest fear for labour was being in the car in immense pain. It was one of the biggest stressors I had, driving to the birth centre while in labour and not having any outlets or strategies for the pain as I’d be trapped in the car in a seatbelt.
Leaving for the birth centre
Around 8:30pm ( I think ) we called the midwife and she calmly advised us to stay home a bit longer and that we were doing well. We called again about an hour or so later, and she was still confident we weren’t “there” yet. By 10:30pm I was really uncomfortable and said to my partner “call her, we are going”. She said yes, ok let’s go. And we left.
We drove in near silence – just the down pouring rain hitting the car. I kept my eyes closed, only sneaking peaks at the clock as I mentally counted down the time until we arrived. My biggest mental hurdle was over, we arrived at the birth centre at 11:24pm. Phew!
Our midwife checked my progress, and I was only 3cm. I remember looking at her in desperation and saying “you are NOT sending me home, please tell me you’re not sending me home”. She replied “I’m not sending you home”. She must see this all the time: a first time mum feeling like they are so far along, and that they are in so much pain… but in reality, they are still in early labour and barely dilated. I felt like I was soooooo close to being fully dilated, haha. I remember thinking “I’ve done so well, this will be a breeze”. Oh hell no.
Labouring at the birth centre
I laboured in the shower for about 90min, needing to lean over the hand rails for each contraction and trying to walk around our suite in between. I tried to have some small snacks but ended up spitting everything out. I couldn’t eat anything, and the only thing I could stomach was cold water through a straw. Contrary to what I was led to believe, I was not able to rest between contractions. There was no snacking, no hall walking, I literally had 1-2 minutes between every contraction.
All the books and website and podcasts I had armed myself with were all lies! I felt like I had been tricked into this!
At 2am, I was 5cm dilated and moved into the birthing pool. The previous lady was finished and had been transported up to the main hospital for an epidural. I was happy the pool was now free for me, but also a bit tentative as we could hear this previous lady’s moans and groans (and screams) and to know she had opted for an epidural after all that intense labour… I was nervous! But I put that all aside and enjoyed the relaxing environment of the pool.
The pool felt pretty good, and contractions were ramping up. I was now making audible noises, loud groaning noises I didn’t even think I could make. At some point my partner was rubbing my hand and then that became my pain relief. He would press really really firmly into the webbing between my thumb and index finger – as hard as he could. This was the one thing for the rest of my labour that got me through the pain. Long deep breaths, and his deep firm pressure into my hand. When contractions came on, I’d hold up my hand and call him over to push as hard as he could. This isn’t something we practiced or discussed, it just happened. And it worked.
I had to pee a few times, so I had to carefully step out of the pool and walk around the pool to the toilet, and then get back into the pool before the next contraction. A few times I felt nauseas, and I barfed one more time into a sick bag. I had lots of water during my labour, cold water through a straw – every sip felt like heaven. My contractions continued in the pool for 4 hours, approximately every 2-3 minutes. I was getting tired.
Breaking my waters
At 6am, my midwife checked my progress. I was at 6cm. I had only dilated 1 cm after 4 hours in the pool – I was devastated. I couldn’t even look at my partner as I knew I might freak out.
My midwife asked if I wanted her to break my waters, I said YES do it. She broke it, and I felt a huge pressure release. Our baby had pooped in the womb, which is common with full term babies, and meant there was muconeum in the water. As a precaution, it is policy of the birth centre to continue the labour and birth in the hospital upstairs. The baby wasn’t in any distress, but they would monitor me and bubs for the rest of the labour.
There is a risk that the baby can swallow the muconeum into his lungs, which is why the hospital wants to monitor more closely.
So I was transferred upstairs for the rest of the labour. We had to wait for a staff member to take me on the gurney, and it felt like he took FOREVER to come and get me. My contraction intensity had increased 100x since my waters broke… Wowsers! I thought I was in labour before, but now it was game on. This was the most intense indescribable pain I could ever have imagined. Nothing can really prepare you for it, and nothing quite feels like it.
Once upstairs, I was hooked up to a few monitors that stayed attached to my belly. I found this really annoying and was constantly trying to move them out of the way. My contractions continued like clockwork, about 45-55sec in length, peaking at the 35 second mark, and about 2 minutes apart (which means about 1 min of “rest” in between). This was INTENSE. I was in so much pain and starting to get so fatigued as each contraction meant I was using all my strength to grip onto my partners hand and to the rails of the hospital bed. It was full on. I just remember staring at my partner out of desperation, as if he could turn off the pain.
My midwife re-assessed how I was mentally and physically, and offered me the chance to have an epidural depending on my dilation. I said yes, assuming I hadn’t dilated much more since I only gained 1 cm after 4 hours in the pool. To my surprise, I was already at 9cm so we soldiered on. Too late for the epidural, and I could soon start pushing.
Starting to Push
To my delight (sort of), pushing didn’t hurt. I still had the same build up as the contraction, but when I able to push there was no pain, just intense “effort” like you’re pushing an immovable wall. Breathing with the pushing phase was really difficult for me. I found it hard to get the timing right and to get those long pushes out. My partner was really really good at helping me through it, and I know I could not have done any of this without him.
He was a great birth partner, and I will always remember his over enthusiastic coaching during the pushing phase. We still laugh about it… sort of.
I pushed from a squatting position rear-facing the incline bed. I held the top of the bed and I could see my partner and the midwife for encouragement. At 8am my midwife’s shift was over and a new midwife entered. A new voice and new perspective was just the change I needed. I felt like this new midwife was here to do business and there was no mucking around. My appointed midwife was great, and I wouldn’t change a thing at all. But knowing my comfort blanket was gone and this new voice in my ear gave me the burst of energy I needed. We changed positions a few times and found that side-lying with her grabbing my top leg was optimal for my pushing comfort and strength.
I had an idea of what positions I wanted to push from, but I also knew that it would depend on so many factors on the day: fatigue, pain, baby’s position, was I at the birth centre or hospital?, were there any medical concerns or interventions being used? what felt comfortable at the time…. With my exercise background, I felt that I was physically fit enough to do almost any position, but that I would let my body and partners’ guidance on the day guide me. I wanted to familiarise myself with as many positions as possible so that on the day, I felt confident and prepared.
I think I was pushing for 60-75 minutes in total at this point and it was obvious the baby wasn’t moving through my pelvis. I felt like I was pushing nothing. I was also getting a lot of pain in the front of my hips and abdomen, which felt like inflammation or tenderness in my hip flexors, but we weren’t sure why. It was pretty painful for me to move my legs down between pushes, and the midwife was a bit perplexed. She called in 2 doctors to check me over and to assess the baby’s head position and to see why the baby wasn’t coming out.
Intervention
I thought for sure “2 males doctors, they’ll send me straight for a C-section”, which I was mentally prepared for and I was ok with. I was tired and I didn’t know what else I could do, and how much longer I could go on for. I was also stereotyping these 2 doctors based on some biased podcasts, websites, and social media accounts I had been following during my pregnancy (with male doctors, and medical intervention). I was so wrong!
These 2 doctors were so kind, so considerate, and never did anything without asking me, getting my consent, and making sure my partner and I knew what they were talking about. Baby’s head was tilted (either up or down) so he was getting stuck in my pelvic. They suggested a small lateral episiotomy and to use the suction to help guide the baby’s head out. I was 100% on board with this.
During my pregnancy, I had researched as many birth stories and intervention options as possible so that I had no surprises when my time came. I wanted to make sure that no matter what happened, I was okay with what the hospital staff and my midwife were suggesting – and I that I understood what everything meant. I didn’t want to be confused, or unsure, or to make any decisions while I was fatigued, delirious, and/or hysterical. Luckily, I was fairly clear headed, and had some knowledge of what I was going through, and my partner was also aware.
It took a while for them to get everything organised, and I was still having contractions and pushing every 2 minutes during their prep (talk about awkward – I had 2 doctors “down there” during my pushing phase). They used some numbing agent and did the procedure, also getting the suction ready.
After the first big push with suction, we were able to see our baby’s head. It looked like a fuzzy peach with hair, and both my partner and I were just in utter disbelief that our baby was here. 2 more big pushes and we had our baby crying on my chest. We didn’t know he was a boy until about 5 minutes later when my partner noticed his genitals and told me we had a boy. We were just shocked. We had a baby, and he was ours.
Our baby boy was born on his due date, Sunday May 30th at 9:15am.
Walking out of hospital the following day with our baby was one of the most memorable experiences that I will never forget. Even as I write this, 7 weeks later, it all still feels so surreal.
Quick Recap: Labour started on the coast on Saturday around 2pm, with early labour at home until 11pm, active labour at the birth centre until 6am, and born in the hospital Sunday at 9:15am. We delivered via vaginal birth with suction assistance, and no complications. We stayed one night in hospital and were home the following afternoon. We’ve never driven so carefully in our lives!
Random Extras
*I will do some follow up posts on my pregnancy and birth prep, my birth recovery, as well as my experience with the first few days and the 4th trimester. Follow us on our Instagram account to stay updated!
**All the podcasts and other stories I followed kept mentioning how the woman would go to sleep once their contractions started, or they’d have enough down time between contractions so they can have snacks and have a rest….. Um who are these women and what are they talking about?! There was no chance I’d sleep a wink, let alone have any snacks, or time to stretch and relax …. No chance!
***One of my biggest concerns for the labour process was being naked for hours on end with my boobs out. For some reason, I just cringed at that thought. I told my partner I always wanted to be somewhat covered, in a crop top or singlet. If he saw me naked and I asked him to cover me up, he’d know what to do. However, once you’re in labour, you forget about all that. Although I stayed covered from the top up, I was naked from the bottom down the entire time and I did not care. A few times I was like “oooh, everyone can see my bits” but then a contraction would hit and it was the last thing I cared about. Im pretty sure on the gurney ride up to hospital EVERYONE saw my butt hanging out – yikes! Looking back, I just shake my head at how silly all those pre-labour insecurities are. No one cares, and no one is looking.
****Apparently labouring in water can stall your progress. Even though it was a lot more comfortable and quite relaxing, I feel like I was definitely stalled by being in the pool. To only dilate 1 cm over 4 hours was really hard to comprehend as I was in immense discomfort. There is no schedule, nor a right or wrong way to labour, and I do not know any science or facts about labouring in the water, but it makes sense that if the body can relax a bit, that labour would also relax. I’m still happy that I had that option and that I was comfortable while it lasted. I just wish I had dilated quicker!!
Want to share your birth story or pregnancy journey and recovery? I would love to create a little section of my website as a resource for others, as well as a supportive community. {Register your interest via email (joanna@balancedpostureonline.com) or contact me on social media}
